Tanuu Blog

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”
Sam Keen

This week, I had the pleasure of going to Knoxville to film two segments with the NBC station. One segment included my daughter. We had one long 9-hour-day of travel, then a day of filming, and then a day of travel to return home. She held up like a trooper, constantly assisting me in every way she could.

Of course, as all travel with children includes, there was a challenge or two. First, her last molar decided to come loose. In one hand I held my notes and in the other I held a tube of Orajel. It was always at the most opportune times that the pain would come–while juggling four bags through security, five seconds prior to going live on television–you mothers know how this works. (And for the non-moms reading - the moral and message of this column applies to you so keep reading!)

The last challenge of the trip came the day we left. We had purchased a teddy bear on the way down and Sammy deemed it the most special bear she had ever had. Every night she tucked it in, complete with back rub. She searched a name database on the internet and the bear was named Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers.

When I went to pack, I couldn’t put Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers in a suitcase as he might suffocate. So we left him on the chair, safely tucked in a blanky as I proceeded to pack our bags. You can probably guess what happened next. We arrived at the airport 60 minutes prior to our departure, returned the rental car, checked in, only to realize Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers was not with us.

My daughter who had traveled well up to that point, just about broke down. A companion traveling with us pointed out that worst case we would be passing the same store on the way back. Needles to say, my daughter looked at me in horror.

Thinking quickly, I called the hotel to see if the housekeeper could locate the bear. In five minutes the front desk called me back assuring me that the housekeeper had looked under the bed and in the blankets and there was no bear. I disputed this finding, explaining that we had just left, and the bear was definitely there. The woman at the front desk said she would go look and call me back. In another 5 minutes my cell rang. She had found Max Cuddles Arto Bongo Whispers. I asked her to call a cab and have the bear raced to our airline terminal. We were now about 45 minutes away from our departure time, had not yet gone through security, and the hotel was 20 minutes away.

As our flight drew nearer, our travel companion urged me and Sammy to go through security saying she would wait for the bear and if someone was going to

Most of us would like to be better communicators. As leaders, co-workers, team members and in all of the other roles we play both professionally and personally, we know that communication is a major key to success.

When we are frustrated or stymied by something, often better communication would have improved it.

Consider the new executive or manager who walks into their first meeting. Every movement is watched. Where they sit is analyzed. What they say is discussed later. Did they make declarative statements or ask questions? Did they smile? Were they quiet or too quiet? What about their tone of voice?

Or consider seeing an old friend with a new business partner. You’ve not spent much time with the new partner before. You care about your friend and so you are trying to build an informed opinion of their partner, so you observe them very carefully.

Of course not every situation is this obvious, but in every situation we are all being observed as people try to truly understand our message. Yes, communication certainly is important - and valuable. And guess what? As these two examples clearly show, we can’t not communicate.

Think about it.

We communicate with our words, of course. Our eyes and our facial expressions convey many things. We communicate with the tone of our voice, with our movements and hands. We even communicate when we are silent.

The Paradox

So it is a paradox to think that we are always communicating and yet we still want to improve our communications skills.

Just because we do something all the time, doesn’t mean we think about it all the time. And if we are doing something without thinking about it, we are operating from habit.

Habits are our helpers. They allow us to get through all of the many tasks we encounter each day - many of which we do subconsciously. And while habits help us, sometimes they don’t serve us in the ways we would most like. In those cases, we can adjust those habits.

Making a Change

If we want to think about improving our subconscious communication, it helps to think about the ways we communicate. I mentioned a list above. Others have split up the communication components into these segments:

What we say

How we say it

How we look

While I agree with those components I think it is also important for us to consider a fourth component too- what we don’t say.

Keeping these components in mind, I believe that there are at least five things that you can do if you want to do a better job of communicating during all those times you aren’t thinking about communicating.

Be aware. The first step to improving our subconscious communication skills is to be aware of how pervasive our communication is. Awareness helps us bring things out of the subconscious and up to a conscious level. It is at the conscious level we can work on them.

Be vigilant. Once we have decided we want to improve these skills and are aware of the factors involved, we have to pay attention. Begin

Headlines are short vital statements to stimulate your potential customers and clients to take action. That means sales! Since you only have 10 seconds to attract your visitor or reader, create headlines to make ultimate sales.

Your benefit-driven headlines are your 24/7 sales team working for your while you relax your favorite way.

Without them, your ezine ads, email promotions, special reports, eBooks, book and article titles, chapter titles, ezines and print newsletters, and Web site will not pull visitor attention, trust, credibility, traffic or sales.

Headlines bring far more sales than the copy following them. Perhaps you are a skimmer too. Skimmers usually just read the headline. Part one of this article is available, email article-71@bookcoaching.com.

How to Use Headlines

Within the body of the piece use headlines to inspire and motive the reader to keep reading to get their questions answered. The reason they read your article is to learn how to solve their problem. Headlines organize and guide your reader to make it easy for him/her to read. With appreciation for your useful article they may click on your product or service to buy you offer in your signature file at the bottom.

Within “The BIG 3 Marketing Machine” report, this headline pulls reader action: “Leverage your Sales Through a Short Headline.”

4. EBOOK TITLES AND TABLE OF CONTENTS

Your eBook or print book title is an example of a headline. With only 4-8 seconds to impress, make sure it sizzles with the number one benefit and your preferred audience included.

Sample titles that sell: “Increase your Traffic and Web Sales Five Times in 30 Days,” “Ten Roadblocks Between You and a Real Life,” “Cold Calling: The Reverse Selling Way,” and “Speak Like a Pro For Profit.” Notice the benefits.

Within your book your chapter titles are also examples of headlines. These are so important to guide the reader through your information in an organized, compelling style. They help focus your reader and make your book easy-to-read, a great selling point. Since your chapter titles evolve into your table of contents, make them stimulate your possible buyer to pay for your book right now. These are what my eBook calls “Essential
Hot-Selling Points.”

In one client’s chapter “You’re Having No Fun and it Makes You Sick” from a book on how relationships can be hazardous to your health, she offered these headings: “No One Told You? You Put Off Fun Til Later? He Healed Himself with Laughter! Are You Stuck in the Muck? and Stretch Your Fun Muscles.”

5. EZINES AND NEWSLETTERS

Just as with your chapter titles, every section of your ezine needs a headline. For instance, “Feature Article of the Month,” “Business Tip of the Month,” or “Publisher’s Message.” These are listed in your ezine’s table of contents near the top of the ezine. They give your prospective reader benefit-driven headlines to attract them to read on.

6. WEBSITES

Since headlines are the most important part of your home page and sales letters on your Web site, think about your site now. If you don’t have headlines on your home page